Joke of the day.




An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”



Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via capnhotpants)

please help me meet my girlfriend


ah hi, my name is leo and im dating alyssa. we have been in a long distance relationship for eight months. that isn’t that long of a time but during that time, we have dealt with so much together and it makes it seem so much longer. i love her and she loves me. the only thing that we wish was different is that we were closer. so i figured i might try making a campaign so that i can take a trip to minnesota, all the information is on the campaign site. thank you so much for taking your time to read this and if you could signal boost this post, alyssa and i would appreciate that. uwu

(via headlessbabeclub)


For best effect, scroll back up and say “you’re so cute” and then read through it again

Midnight Marco scribbles shalala







what if obama does the ice bucket challenge and nominates queen elizabeth

what if obama actually talks about what’s going on in ferguson

what if obama stopped exterminating the middle eastern population with drones

what if obama lowered my gotdamn tuition

What if everyone gets educated and stops acting like the President can make decisions for the country by themselves

^that one 

(via baconatorofficial)